Death by Drowning on Land
by wishyfishy
Summary: He was the third death by drowning today. All the deaths were by drowning on land in the worst drought Seattle as ever seen. It was weird enough even without the weird ass weirdo that seemed to be at the scene of every one of those deaths... Oneshot.


Disclaimer: I don't own nothing. _Dead Like Me_ was a great show and it still would be on air, if I owned the rights. And since it's not. Then…guess what? I don't own the rights!

Author's Note: Don't read this if you don't know anything about _Dead Like Me_. You would be totally screwed because I ain't putting any background information, thankyouverymuch. Oh and there is some heavy cussing in here, but if you know the show, you'd already know that. Oh, and this takes place around 2005-2006, before the Cybermen and Darleks. The Doctor and Donna though traveled back in time this time period to…well you'll see.

He was the third death by drowning today. Now, normally I wouldn't have given it a second thought if it wasn't for the fact that I was the one that popped the souls of those three, they all died in the same abandoned shipping yard, and their death was by drowning on land in the worst drought Seattle as ever seen. It was odd even by my standards, and trust me, my standards are pretty high. I've seen it all from death by a banana peel, to death by piano drop, from death by serial killer to death by a flying toilet seat.

These deaths by drowning on land would've been weird enough even without the weird ass weirdo that seemed to be at the scene of every one of those deaths. He was a tall skinny man that wore a brown pinstripe suit and a long floppy trench coat. There was a pair of cream converse on his feet and his hair was almost gravity defying. He was actually pretty good looking, not considering the fact that he was one of the weirdest people I've seen. He was accompanied with a red haired woman that from what I could tell had a hell of an attitude. They were always near the deceased right before I popped their souls and the man always examined the body with some metal thing like he was a coroner or something. It was bizarre. But I did my job anyway, swearing to myself that I would kill Rube for giving me four post-it notes in one day and ignored the strange couple.

I was at the Der Waffle House, wasting time before my 4:30 appointment. It was a Saturday and there nothing to do a Happy Time, so I was here. Rube was sitting next to me at the bar, eating apple pie and I was mindlessly stirring my coffee, thinking about the people drowning on land.

"I still can't believe you gave me four post-it notes today. And on a Saturday no less," I said.

"Get over it, peanut. It's been a busy day for everyone," replied Rube, scraping the last crumbs off his plate.

"Why?"

"How should I know? I'm going to get another slice. That was good pie. Hey," said Rube calling the waitress over. "Another slice of that apple pie, please. And some more milk as well."

I waited until the waitress was gone before continuing the conversation. I didn't want to talk about death and reaping in front of people, though I'm pretty sure that the waitresses here had a good idea that we were a weird bunch of people.

"Well, you must have some idea. I mean my first three reaps all died of drowning and they were all on land without a drop of water near them," I responded, finally taking a sip of coffee, but then quickly put it back down. It was cold.

"Me, too. Hey, look what the cat dragged in," spoke Rube, looking behind him as Mason walked into the Waffle House.

"What the bloody hell, Rube?" exclaimed Mason plopping down on a seat next to me.

"What is it this time?" questioned Rube.

"I just took my second reap and she just died of drowning on the fucking land!"

"Really?" I asked surprised. What was going on here? Why in hell are people dying this way?...not that I was in the right to wonder…

"Quiet down will, yah," whispered Rube, looking around seeing if anyone was listening in.

He didn't have much to worry about, there was only two other people in the Waffle House and they were in the corner kissing up a storm.

"Was it in a shipping yard? Was there this guy in a trench coat and suit with this woman there?" I questioned Mason, wanting to get to the bottom of this.

"Yah…yah there was," answered Mason, pointing to my coffee. "Hey, you done what that?"

"Sure, go ahead," I said offhandedly before I turned to Rube. "What about you? Shipping yard? Weird guy with a red-headed woman? Ringing any bells?"

Next to me, Mason had taken the coffee and took a sip. "Ugh…you didn't tell me it was cold," gagged Mason, spitting what he drank back into the mug.

I ignored Mason and his disgusting behavior and waited for Rube's answer. All this people drowning on land, and this weirdo always being near had peaked my interest. There was something fishy going on, and I wanted to know if Rube was experiencing the same thing.

"Yes, there was a man in a trench coat and suit near the deceased, and they were in a shipping yard. But what does that have to do with anything?" replied Rube as the waitress came back with his pie and milk. "Thank you, sweetheart."

"Because it's fucking weird that's what!" I exclaimed as Rube dug into his pie. I swear Rube had been around so long that he wouldn't know something interesting and bizarre if it bit him in the ass, unless it had something to do with his food. Why was he always eating anyway?

"It is some fucking weird shit, man. It's like all that alien stuff happening in London," commented Mason, fiddling with my coffee.

I nodded because he was right. There was some weird ass stuff that happened in London. People said it was 'aliens' or whatever. Aliens in the ship that crashed into the Big Ben, aliens that were in the ship that had hovered over London, aliens that control those manikins during Christmas, aliens, aliens, aliens. Rube said that reapers from all over the world had to go to London to help out with all the deaths because of the 'aliens.' Even Daisy got to go to London to help out, that lucky bitch. Yeah, there were pretty odd things that happened in London. But that kind of stuff just usually stayed in London, the rest of the world for the most part was normal. Anyway, whatever was happening to these people drowning on land was something worthy of London, and it kind of creeped me out.

"Yah, sure…Hey, George isn't it getting time for your last reap?" asked Rube after taking a drink of milk.

"Oh, shit! Yeah," I exclaimed, jumping up and grapping my coat.

It was 30 minutes 'til ETD and I still had to get back to that abandoned shipping yard. I said a quick good-bye to Rube and Mason and headed out.

***

I got there with 15 minutes to spare. The shipping yard was cold and wet, which wasn't saying much considering the place was near the harbor. As I walked out there for the third time that day, strolling past long forgotten, rusty warehouses and the occasional ship, I yet again toyed with the question as to why the people where all dying of drowning on land. What was causing it? If death wanted them to die of drowning, why didn't it just have them drown in the harbor? Why on land of all places?

"Georgia!"

I looked around a spotted Daisy walking towards me, her pretty little figure moving in her pretty little dress covered by her pretty little jacket. She moved daintily on the weed infested concrete, careful not to ruin her high heel shoes. I swear she drives me insane, but I deal with her. I kind of had to, being her roommate and everything.

"I thought I'd see you here," said Daisy, finally reaching me. "It seems that every reaper in the town has been here at least once today. In fact, Roxy just left not too long ago."

"Yeah, I know. It's pretty weird…hey, have all your reaps died of drowning on land?" I questioned Daisy.

"Yes, and there's always been a bizarre English couple around as well. Who do you think they are?"

"They're English?"

"Yep, strange right? Remind me of London."

There was that mention of London again, in all its alien nuttiness. Why were all the weirdos from England? And then it dawned on me. Could this whole thing have something to do with aliens? I knew it was a silly question. Aliens weren't real. But the oddness of the situation was having an effect on me. This was not something that happened on an everyday basis.

"So, where do you think they'll die this time?" I asked Daisy looking around at the dirty area of broken concrete and rusting metal.

"Well, here obviously," stated Daisy like I was stupid.

"No, I mean like in a building, or out in the open, or somewhere else."

"What does it matter? They're going to die anyway. Who do you got and at what time?"

"Uh…R. Samson, 4:30," I replied looking down at my post-it note. "You?"

"Some D. Noble at 4:57."

I nodded not knowing what else to say. And as I surveyed the surrounding area, I noticed something odd. Last time I visited an abandoned shipping yard, there were at least a handful of hobos hanging around, but this place was completely empty. The only sign of life seemed to be some almost dead weeds and the occasion stray animal or two. It seemed odd, yet strangely fitting for the situation. I checked my watch. 10 minutes until R. Samson's death. Where could R. Samson be hiding?

"Where are they?" I questioned, looking around again.

"How should I know? I've been searching the place for what seemed hours, and I haven't found heads or tails of anyone," replied Daisy following my eyes.

"Well they have to be somewhere here. They're going to die in a few minutes."

"Maybe they'll miss their appointments."

"Maybe…"

I had spotted something in one of the warehouse farther up. It looked like a piece of laundry hanging and flapping in the breeze. Maybe I was been wrong about the hobos. The piece of cloth could be some sort of flag made by a hobo staking their claim like a space explorer. Something like, "I, hobo, claim this shitty warehouse as my own" or whatever. Whoever put that piece of cloth there, it didn't matter. That was a sign that someone was here, and that was all I needed. I immediately headed over to the rusty metal box that used to be a warehouse.

"Georgia, where are you going?" questioned Daisy, daintily clicking behind me.

"You've been here how long and you haven't noticed that cloth there?" I replied pointing to what I spotted.

"Well that…you see…I don't have as keen eyes that you so charmingly have, Georgia."

Well that's a load of bull shit, if I've ever heard one. Typical Daisy, using flattery to back her way out of things.

As we headed closer to the warehouse, we began to hear voices, English voices. Great, I thought. It was the English weirdos again. Could it be possible that one of them was R. Samson or D. Noble?

"Hello?" called out Daisy as we reached the warehouse, finding out that the piece of cloth was a really ugly plaid shirt that seemed to have been there for quiet awhile. "Hello? Anyone there?"

"Quick, Donna. The bucket!" exclaimed a voice, obviously either ignoring us or not even noticing us.

"On, it!" replied a voice.

Suddenly, the red headed woman zoomed out of the building and grabbed a nearby bucket. Why in the world did they need a bucket for?

"Excuse me?" asked Daisy, trying to catch the woman before she ran back into the warehouse. "We're looking for an R. Samson and a D. Noble."

The woman stopped and looked at us for a second, the decaying bucket in her hands and a questioning look on her face.

"Donna! The bucket!" called a voice that was soon accompanied by the man in the suit and trench coat poking his head out of the warehouse door. "Now!"

The woman nodded, and soon both she and the man disappeared back into the building.

"What was that all about?" I stupidly asked Daisy like she would know.

"I know as much as you do, Georgia," replied Daisy and with that she delicately walked through the dirt and inside.

I followed behind, mind wondering all the possibility that I might seen inside that warehouse. Maybe there was a crashed UFO suspended from the ceiling, and little green men were hopping around demanding they'd see a bucket because they needed something to collect specimen in. Or maybe there was green goop coming from something and they needed the bucket to clean it up in. Whatever it was, I was almost positive that it was something weird and alien-y.

What I saw though was a huge let down. All that was in the warehouse were the two strange English people, some guy laying down on dirt covered floor, a shiny glowing thing in the English man's hand, and what looked like the remains of some crystal laying next to them.

"Doctor, you really think this is going to work?" questioned the woman, Donna from what I could gather.

"I'm pretty sure…98--no 88 percent sure…hand me that bucket," replied, what was it, the Doctor?

"Uh…excuse me," interrupted Daisy as Donna handed the Doctor the bucket. "We're looking for a R. Samson, and a D. Noble."

"Did someone call my name?" croakily answered the man on the floor, trying to get up.

"No," said Donna, stopping the man and ignoring us. "You need to stay still. Doctor, are you ready?"

"Just about," grunted the Doctor.

He was taking apart the bucket with a nearby rock, smashing it to pieces. What in the hell was going on here? When the Doctor had shattered the plastic bucket, he took one small part and placed it in the glowing thing in his hand, which looked like some sort of remote made out of bits and pieces of random electronics.

"No, no, no, no!" exclaimed the Doctor, whacking the remote thing.

Daisy cleared her throat, acting like she wasn't at all affected by the weird doings of the English man in front of her. "Excuse me!"

"What?" responded the Doctor, Donna and him finally turning to notice us.

"Hello. We're from...," began Daisy.

"From the city…uh building code office," I finished, pulling something out of my ass.

"Yes, that. And we're looking for a R. Samson and a D. Noble," continued Daisy.

"I'm Donna Noble. What's it to yah?" snapped Donna.

"And, I'm Ron Samson…," croaked the man on the floor, Ron apparently, trying to sit up again.

"Oh, no, Ron. You need to keep still," said the Doctor absentmindedly pressing Ron back to the floor, while still fiddling with the remote-thing. What in the hell was that anyway? "Damn it! Why won't you work?!"

I looked down at my watch again. 5 more minutes. I better pop the soul soon. I wonder if Ron Samson's going to die of drowning on land too. As I looked down at the Doctor and his remote thing, I wondered if he was the one causing the death by drowning on land. Did the remote thing do something to people to make them drown? But then I looked at Donna while she looked back and forth from the Doctor and Daisy. She was obviously a friend of the Doctor's, and cared if Ron died or not. My mind suddenly fantasized that this Doctor was an evil scientist or even an alien that was killing people, and would eventually kill his friend Donna. Whoever or whatever this English man was, I still needed to do my job.

"Uh…is this guy, Ron, alright?" I questioned stepping forward.

"Does he look alright to you?" replied Donna, then turning to the English man. "Doctor, hurry. I think the water's about to come."

"What's wrong with him?" I asked, crouching down next to Ron.

"Alien virus. Infects the cells of the lungs and causes them to produce water, making the person drown from their own cells. This stupid thing…Is supposed to reverse the process, but it doesn't want to work!" answered the Doctor.

Shit. So, this whole thing was about aliens. I may have been dreaming or suspecting it was about them before, but this just made the whole situation fact. It was fucking weird, and I should be freaking out now, but for some reason I didn't. I just sat there staring at the three, the Doctor and his remote thing, Donna and her attitude, and the dying Ron. To tell you the truth, I didn't know what to think. So, I did the only thing I knew I had to do for certain: my job. I reached out to touch Ron's arm, when the Doctor stopped me.

"Don't touch him. Once the process is underway, it's highly infectious," distractedly warned the Doctor, still desperately tinkering with the remote thing. "It's not working! The plastic from the bucket doesn't seem to be adapting to the wiring from the TARDIS. We have to find some other type of plastic, but I don't think we'll have enough time. The cells in Ron's body are already producing water. He only has a minute or two."

"But there has to be something we can do, Doctor," begged Donna.

"There's…"

While the English couple chatted, I took the opportunity to sweep my hand down Ron's arm, popping his soul, not worrying about the alien virus that the Doctor was talking about. I'm already dead; I don't think it could do much to me. The moment my fingers left Ron's skin, he started coughing up water. I stepped back as I began to watch, for the four time today, a person drown on land. A few seconds later, the man name Ron Samson was dead, water still trickling out of his mouth.

The Doctor reached up to Ron and closed his eyes. Then he and Donna somberly backed away from the body, the remote thing limp in the Doctor hand. Suddenly, there was a silence that seemed to fill the warehouse. It was a solemn silence that seemed to fill the whole air with a think, dense feeling of loss. I knew I should be gone, or at least on my way out. But there my curiosity was super-gluing my feet to the ground. Who was this Doctor? And why did he know so much about this creepy alien junk? And why the hell was it happening in Settle of all places?

"Do you think there's anymore?" suddenly questioned Donna, breaking the silence.

"I don't think so. But I'll use the TARDIS to double check. I don't want any more people dying. Too many have died today," replied the Doctor, gravely.

"Excuse me," said Daisy for what seemed the millionth time. "What are you talking about?"

"Huh?" asked the Doctor, turning towards Daisy and me.

"What do you think that there's no more of?"

I had no idea why Daisy was questioning the English weirdo. My guesses were that she was as curious as me about the whole thing. It wasn't everyday that you reaped a person that died by drowning on land, and get to find out answers, however fucked up they may be.

"Meteorites. Little tiny meteorites," stated the Doctor, hold in up his fingers to show the size of about a quarter. "The virus hitched a ride inside the meteorites, but once most of it burned up in the atmosphere, it came out. So, when anyone touched the remains of the meteorite, they caught the virus."

"And those meteorites landed in Seattle?" I asked.

"More or less."

Why did all the deadly things from space fall to Seattle? While, this little conversation had been going on, the soul of Ron Samson had gotten out of his body and was now pacing the floor, either impatient or confused. Whatever it was, he would have to wait. I had questions that need to be answered.

"Wait! I've seen you before! You were here three other times!" suddenly exclaimed the Doctor, making Daisy and I jump in surprise.

"Yah…she was. In fact she was here when those three blokes died. Remember, they were a few of the first," interjected Donna.

"Yes, and you were here before too," said the Doctor pointing to Daisy

Oh, shit. They were catching on. I really should be going.

"I…uh…" I babbled, trying to find something to say that would get me a free ticket out of here.

"She told you. We're from the city building code office. We've been inspecting these buildings to see if they're structurally sound," spoke Daisy, saving my ass. I never thought I would be grateful that I had Daisy with me.

"You don't look like you're here to inspect anything," replied Donna, looking at Daisy's high heel shoes and designer dress. "Who are you really?"

I mentally cursed Daisy for being so girly. Why couldn't she where useful clothes like the rest of us reapers? I really should be going. But curiosity had still held my feet hostage. There were still questions that had yet been answered, plus I wanted to know how this Donna Noble was going to die. I checked my watch again. It was 4:47. Ten minutes until Donna's death. What were we going to do for ten minutes?

"Uh…Georgia, why don't you clarify the reason why we're here?" said Daisy passing the fucking torch to me.

"Uh…" I began, but Donna cut me off.

"Where's you ID's?" she quizzed.

"Uh…" I stuttered. Was that all I could say? The English couple's eyes were boring into us. They had caught us. What were we going to do?

"You're not really from the city building code office, are yah?" guessed the Doctor.

"Uh…" Why in the world could I not get anything out of my mouth?

"You caught us," giggled Daisy, putting up her hands in mock defeat before pointing towards me. "You see young Georgia here was looking for her…boyfriend. For some reason he likes hanging out in this dump. I don't know why, and I keep telling her that she deserves better but she doesn't listen to me. So…"

"Was Ron your boyfriend?" questioned the Doctor rounding on me.

"Uh…No. His name was uh…Bob," I replied. Bob? Why did I choose such a stupid name? Bob sounds like some red-neck from Texas or something. Who would curse their child by naming him Bob? And why would anyone like me date him? I mentally hit myself for coming up with such a _creative_ name.

"Yes, Bob. So…have you seen any Bobs around her lately?" asked Daisy with a smile.

"No…can't say I have…" muttered the Doctor. "Donna?"

She shook her head.

"Okay…then we better get going," said Daisy, motioning towards the door.

I nodded. "Uh…sorry about…Ron," I mumbled.

I still had questions, but my instinct was telling me to go with Daisy, to get away from the weird ass English weirdos and their alien crap. So my curiosity finally gave up claim on my feet and I began to walk towards the door.

"Yes…very sad…I wish he could just _come with us_…Oh well…," hinted Daisy following me.

Ron's ghost got the hint and a few moments later we were all out of the warehouse and away from Donna and the Doctor.

"Man, Georgia. That was a close one. You should really be more careful next time," warning Daisy as we slowly walked farther and farther away from the building.

"Fuck you, Daisy," I replied instantly.

"Is that any way to treat me after I saved your butt back there, while you just stood there like statue in Central Park?"

"Hey, I did my job. I could've walked out of there at any time," I lied. I knew I wouldn't have gotten out of that situation so easily if it wasn't for Daisy. I just didn't want to tell her that. "And…hey! You still have your job to do. That Donna Noble's going to die in a few minutes and you didn't collect her soul."

"Oh, don't worry about it, Georgia," replied Daisy, not looking at me.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I questioned, there was something fishy going on here, and it wasn't the fact that we were next to the harbor. The way Daisy had answered was not right. What was she hiding?

"Hey, are you guys angels?" asked Ron's ghost before Daisy could answer me.

"No, sweetheart. We're grim reapers and your lights should be coming shortly," off handedly replied Daisy.

Ron seemed to accept this pretty easily. I guess dying of some alien virus makes you ready for anything that the world throws your way. I checked my watch again. 4:52. Five minutes 'till Donna's death and we were still walking away from the warehouse. What in the world was Daisy doing?

"Uh…Daisy," I began.

"I said don't worry about it, Georgia. How 'bout you go and take care of Ron here, and let me do what I choose," stated Daisy. Was that an order? "Ron's light are coming, Georgia. Go, go."

I stared at Daisy. Was she just trying to shoo me off? Why does she want to get rid of me? What was going on? But before I could react, Ron tapped me on the shoulder. I stopped and looked back as Ron began to point off in the distance.

"Are those my lights?" asked Ron.

I followed Ron's finger and saw Hogwarts castle twinkling opaquely against the harbor, like a ghost image of the movies.

"I think so…" I answered, looking back at Ron.

Seeing the delight in the man's eyes almost made me forget the weirdness of the day and the many questions swimming in my head. I watched Ron gleefully walk towards the Harry Potter magic castle, and in a few moments the man that once was Ron Samson disappeared in the lights as they faded out of existence.

As I came back to the reality of the situation, I looked around for Daisy. But she was nowhere in sight. Neither was the strange English couple. I looked at my watch. 5:00. Donna should be dead. I wondered how she died, and whether or not Daisy went back to collect her soul. I wondered who that man was that was with her, the Doctor, and how he fitted into everything. I wondered if they'll be any more deaths because of that alien virus, and whether or not the Doctor was telling the truth about the alien virus or was he just killing all those people somehow. There were so many questions in my head that I felt that it was about to explode.

So, I walked away, mind engulfed in weird queries. As I strolled on through the almost dead weeds and crumbling manmade structures, I could've sworn I saw a flash of red hair and a jarring, grinding, fluctuating, alien-like noise.

***

It wasn't until a while later did I finally find out what had happened with Daisy and Donna. Apparently, Daisy had tried to take Donna's soul while we were in the warehouse. The thing was that she couldn't. For some fucked up reason, Donna's soul wouldn't leave her body at Daisy's touch. I asked Rube why, and he said he didn't know, and that creeped me out just a bit because Rube basically knows almost everything there is about reaping. At the time Daisy was apparently so freaked out by it herself that she didn't tell me, and being her actress self hid it away behind her pretty little smile. I hate Daisy.

So, Donna Noble lived. It didn't seem fair. It wasn't like she didn't miss her appointment. She was supposed to die. But by some freaky universal power and good luck, she didn't. It was like something was stopping her death until later or maybe it could've been the fact that this English woman was stronger than most and just unconsciously refused to go. Whatever it was, it just furthered my questions about that day, and my belief that all English people are fucking weird.


End file.
